


Chocolate

by jaygirl789



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, M/M, Pining Dean, alpha!Castiel, food!kink, omega!dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-03-04 09:46:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3063212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaygirl789/pseuds/jaygirl789
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything is going wrong. Cas is in love with someone else, and is going to get married to her, Dean is alone, and there are no cases to take up his time, and no Alpha to take up his heats.<br/>But there is one thing that can fix all of this...chocolate.</p><p>Otherwise knows as, I suck at summaries and Omega!Dean is hot af.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cirael](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirael/gifts).



Of course, Cas tells him while Dean's riding his dick.  
Not while he's helping Cas shave, (Dean doesn't trust him with anything sharper than his own thumbnail) or they're looking for a hunt, (Cases have been pretty thin on the ground since Sam closed up Hell and Cas slammed the doors on Heaven, ripping out his own Grace in the process) but when Dean's ass is stuffed full of cock and his slick is everywhere, coating the ex ̶ angel's legs, all over the shitty motel bed with the thin, rough sheets, and it's really gross but also wonderful and perfect.  
Dean is gasping and mewling, when Cas suddenly slows down and frowns at him, holding onto Dean's hips to still them.

Dean glares at him, his chest heaving.

"What the hell, Cas?" he manages to gasp out, desperately trying to move his hips, but Cas is unfairly strong even as a human and easily manages to keep Dean in place.

"Dean, we have to stop doing this," he says, deadpan, as if he just commented on the weather or something.  
"Wha ̶ why?" Dean splutters, confused. What reason would Cas have to stop this, this, thing they have now? They've been fucking for a few months now, ever since Dean let him take his heat, and neither of them have really done anything to rock the boat.

Cas flushes even more, and he looks down with a slight smile on his lips.  
"I met someone," he says, and Dean can feel his heart sink. 

The world seems to turn sideways, and all of a sudden he feels too exposed, like he needs to get out RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

"A girl," he continues, and jealousy is boiling in Dean's throat. Of course it's a fucking girl, probably another Omega. And Cas is leaving him for her. Nodding slowly, he pulls his lip into his mouth and bites it, sitting off of Cas's still hard cock with a wet pop.

Cas is doing that stupid frowny tilted ̶head puppy face now, like he didn't just fuck everything up between them. 

"Dean?" he asks and Dean can hear his concern, which somehow makes everything worse. He gets up off the bed, and backs away towards the bathroom, his legs shaking slightly. He winces at the cold floor, but doesn’t slow down. 

"I’m sorry, Cas, I just...need a minute." He slams the bathroom door, chips of white paint drifting to the floor. The slight hum in the bathroom feels wonderful compared to the heavy silence of the main room. He leans against the door, panting hard. From here, Dean can see himself from head to toe in the full length mirror in between the shower and the sink. He looks awful, his face pale and screwed up, slick drying on his thighs and sweat on his chest.

He just stands there, staring at himself and trying to get control again, for a long time. He can do this. Dean's a big boy now, for fuck's sake. It's not like they were dating or anything, just fucking. It was nothing. Nothing.

When he thinks he's ready, he takes a deep breath and opens the door. Cas is still sitting in the same place, his cock still hard, (Alpha erections take a long time to go away, Dean knows this from experience) and Dean can smell the concern rolling off of him, mixed in with a faint tinge of arousal. 

Dean knows he can probably smell his distress, but he schools his face into a smirk nonetheless and climbs back into the Alpha's lap, choosing to stare at a small yellow patch of wall directly above Cas's head instead of his face.

"Well, if this is the last time, I’ll make it good," Dean purrs, and before Castiel can say anything else, he sinks back down onto his dick.

For the first time, he lets Cas knot him. He doesn't do this for anyone (even Benny, who begged and begged for weeks,) even during his heats, but he just lets it happen this time.

When he feels Cas's knot hold fast, keeping them together, he smirks again, and says something about them being there for a while, aiming for jovial. But from the look Cas gives him, he probably just sounds bitter.

~*~  
By the time Cas's knot deflates and Dean can slip free, they only have a few minutes to clean up the mess they made and reorganize the bed before Sam comes back from interviewing a potential case, dropping dinner on the tiny ass table in the corner.

"Yeah, so bad news, there's no case, it turns out there really was a rabid dog on the...property..." he slows down, frowning, and scents the air, his stupid mop of hair flopping around as he turns his head up.

Dean and Cas are sitting innocently on separate beds, looking anywhere but at each other, but Dean knows he can smell their mating, recent and tenuous as it is.

"Cas, excuse us a minute," he says stiffly, and Cas nods and leaves quickly, probably to sit in the Impala until one of them calls him back into the room. 

Good, Dean thinks, vindictively. I hope he gets leather burn on his fuckin' ass, if that’s a thing.

It’s so quiet, you could hear a pin drop.

Sam shifts, and sits down on the bed across from him. "You know this is a bad idea, right? I knew you guys were fucking, but do you really want to take it this far, what with ̶”

Dean raises a hand to stop him. "He's... leavin' me, okay, Sam? I got boring, and now he's leavin' me for some fucking girl." 

He looks directly at Sam's face.

Dean doesn’t know what Sam sees in his face, but his expression twists into sympathy, and he reaches for Dean's shoulder.  
Dean flinches away. "I don’t want your pity, Sam. Just...leave it."

Sam nods. "If that’s what you need," he says, cautiously.  
The drive back to the Bunker is awkward and silent. Sam is glaring at Cas, and Dean can scent his anger, musky and bitter.

Cas just smells good, like pine and honey. Like home.


	2. Broken Matings

Dean knows what happens when you break a mating, _theoretically_ ; the headaches and stomach pains, the depression and feelings of worthlessness.

The truth is, it’s much worse.

Dean spends the next five days curled up in his room, whimpering pathetically.

Sam comes around a few times every day to bring him food and water and make sure he hasn’t managed to off himself somehow; it’s like one of his heats, but so much worse, especially since Castiel isn’t experiencing any of this himself, because he's a fucking Alpha.

Why couldn’t Dean have just been a fucking Alpha? Then none of this would be happening to him.

He just feels awful, like needs to vomit and cry and snivel and do all sorts of other un ̶manly, out of character shit, like, for instance, grabbing Cas by that stupid rumpled trenchcoat and demanding he leave whatever stupid bitch he found and come back to Dean.

When the fuck did Cas even have time to find someone? They had been way too busy up until a few months ago, and he hardly even left the Bunker anymore.

What, did he meet her in the fucking grocery? True love in the frozen foods aisle?

If Cas was at least in his vicinity, anywhere near him, this would be easier, but most of the time he’s out, probably at his girlfriend's house, and when he does try to approach Dean in the few times he leaves his room, Sam just growls at him and shoves him in another direction.

Dean can’t blame him, but he really hates the stupid Alpha posturing. He can take care of himself, dammit. He doesn’t need some frikken Alpha looming over him, as if he’s some delicate flower.  
But there’s nothing he can do, so he just waits it out, sweating and shivering miserably, alone in his room.

~*~

At last, on Friday, Dean wakes up and doesn’t feel like he’s been hit by a freight train.

His head is still pounding, but he feels a little less gross and lonely and a little more like his old self.

He changes out of his five day old clothes that are stuck to his skin with sweat, and pulls on a fresh gray Henley and jeans, wincing as the sunlight hits his eyes for the first time in days.

No shoes though, because it’s still the middle of summer and it’s not like he'll be leaving the house any time soon.

He leaves the room, even grunts a hello to Sam in the hall leading toward the kitchen, who seems fairly surprised and embarrassingly elated to see Dean up and about.  
"Glad to see you're feeling better, man," he says, grinning and slaps Dean hard on the back.

Dean huffs and rolls his eyes. "Dude, I was fine the whole time."  
He sticks out his tongue at his little brother, frowning. Sam makes a sceptical noise and then it’s his turn to roll his eyes.

"Yeah, right," he mutters, but doesn’t push it.  
Instead he wrinkles his nose and frowns at Dean, leaning away.  
"I think you should consider having a shower," he says, in a choked voice, and Dean goes along with it, laughing and shoving him.

Anything to avoid bringing up the fact that he just spent five days crying like a little bitch over an ex ̶angel hunter with daddy issues. (And Dean will not think about how similar that is to him.)

Situation successfully defused, Dean shuffles into the kitchen and makes a ham and cheese sandwich the way his mom did when he was little. He makes some coffee with a touch of whiskey in it(cheating a little on his new no booze in the morning rule) while it grills, then sits down with a satisfied sigh to enjoy the toasty deliciousness.

He feels human for the first time in days, like maybe he can get over Cas and all the shit he left on Dean's doorstep.

And then he catches a whiff of forest air and honey, and it all comes back.  
The awful sadness. The fucking jealousy.  
He turns, and Castiel is leaning in the doorway, hair wild, bags around his eyes like he hasn’t slept in weeks _ _._ _

His expression is painful to look at, full of infuriating pity, and suddenly Dean doesn’t want to look at him anymore. He turns back to his sandwich, taking a big bite out of it and intentionally ignoring Cas.

"Dean, look at me," Cas says quietly, his voice rough with disuse. Normally Dean would just ignore him, but he puts a smidgen of his Alpha Voice into it, and Dean can’t resist the force that compels him to turn around.

Dean's fingers tighten on the mug of coffee, but he turns his head, albeit reluctantly.

"What do you want." It’s not a question, just a hard statement. He has no energy left for questions.

"Forgive me," he says, and his eyes are so pleading and soft, that Dean melts. He almost smiles, almost hugs him and tells him it’s okay, but then Cas's shoulder shifts, his collar slips down (When did Castiel, tax accountant of the Lord start wearing T-shirts?) and Dean sees it.

A hickey. Fresh, slightly swollen, bright purple.

Dean feels revulsion in the back of his throat and turns away.

"Don’t you have a girlfriend to attend to?" he asks, coldly, and takes another bite out of his sandwich, which now tastes all wrong, bland and flavourless.  
Cas leaves, after a while, but Dean can smell his scent for hours afterwards. Unspoken apologies. Sadness.

It makes his stomach hurt and he doesn’t eat for the rest of the day.

~*~

Four months pass so quickly that Dean feels blindsided. They do little cases all around the country, ghosts, wendigos, witches, the works. Dean doesn’t feel the usual passion he does for his work; instead he feels empty, bland.  
He stays in his room in his heats, refusing to let Sam in to bring him food or to leave his house.  
Castiel goes to visit the girl more and more, and Dean sleeps around. Alphas, Betas, Omegas, it doesn’t matter. Anything to keep the hunger at bay. He ignores Sam's looks of pity.  
Sometimes he sees something in Cas's eyes, smells something in his scent when he comes back home at three in the morning, hair wild, covered in hickeys from his latest partner, but it’s gone too fast for Dean to see what it is.  
They sleep in separate beds, and Dean can feel every single inch between then like a line of razor blades, sharp and cutting.  
They dance around each other, only talking when it’s absolutely necessary.  
So when one night in cold, lonely October, Cas knocks on Dean's bedroom door, Dean isn’t quite sure what to do. Hesitantly, he opens the door, holding his breath so that he can’t smell Cas's scent.  
"What?" he asks between clenched teeth, trying to keep the anger and seething jealously out of his scent.  
Cas motions for him to sit on the bed, and closes the door behind him, leaning against it.  
"I am going to propose to Erica," he blurts, with no preamble. "And I need your help."  
All Dean can think is, __Oh, that's the bitch's name.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Chapter two! I’m thinking six to eight more. What do you guys think? Sorry for all the weird hyphens, idk what is happening there. My computer is shit.


	3. Milk Chocolate part 1/2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is split into two for dramatic effect. The first part is with Cas, since some of you guys requested his POV.  
> The food kink comes in now, in the second part of this chapter. Just sayin. Also, this is an extra long chapter, just for you guys!  
> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Castiel has made a _lot_ of mistakes in his long life. The deal with Crowley, making the angels fall from Heaven, lying to Dean and Sam.

But somehow, he thinks asking for Dean's help in proposing to Erica is the worst so far.

In his defence, Dean had never explained _why_ he was so angry at Castiel; he had expressed at the beginning of their odd relationship that it was going to be strictly sex; and that both of them were free to pursue relationships elsewhere.

So when Castiel had first told him about Erica, he expected him to shrug it off, and for their...thing to just end right there.

But instead Dean had reacted quite strangely, leaving the room and then letting Castiel knot him right after, for the first time.

He didn’t know why Dean had done that either; their mating was destined to be broken, and Dean had just allowed it, suffering alone for days. Worst of all, Sam hovered outside his room at all times, refusing to let Castiel anywhere near the other hunter.

Then there was the episode in the kitchen, when Dean's scent had turned so bitter and cold and he shut Castiel out, not even letting him understand why any of this was happening.

For months, both he and Sam had avoided Castiel, hardly speaking to him at all, and constantly glaring and frowning at him. And Dean left the house every night with person after person, which made Castiel feel...odd. But he could not dwell on that.

In that time, his only solace had been Erica. She was a sweet Beta that he had met while buying pie for Dean; she had dropped her basket of groceries on the floor, and while helping her pick her fallen groceries up, they had struck up a conversation and from there it had developed into something wonderful.

She was a beautiful woman, with long, dark blonde hair and wide green eyes; but sometimes he felt like there was something off about her. Like she looked odd, or wrong. But he paid it no mind, since she was intelligent, kind and wonderful.

While Sam and Dean ignored him, he went to her house every day, and they talked and talked until late at night.

Of course, Castiel kept certain things secret; it would not do for her to know about his past, or what he had been.

 

But did he love her?

He wasn’t sure.

He enjoyed her company, and thought her very beautiful, and he figured that after four months of dating, he would not mind spending a portion of his now very short life with her.

So, he decided he would marry her. It seemed the logical choice, so he purchased an engagement ring, and went about the preparations for an engagement.

He needed moral support, of course, to make sure he did the deed, but who?

Dean immediately came to mind. He carried all the characteristics of a classic wingman; funny, good with women and men alike, (though he hasn’t laughed or smiled in Castiel's presence for a long time) and  good with words.

Attractive too, and Castiel would refer to him as beautiful if it didn’t make Dean uncomfortable.

And since he doesn’t quite know why Dean is so angry, he decides to ask him for his help.

When he knocks on the door, he can smell Dean from outside, and the Omega's scent is still all wrong, bitter and sharp, but underneath Castiel can smell whiskey and vanilla, leather and chocolate.

Uncommon for an Omega, but delicious.

Erica smells like paper and burnt wood, since she is a Beta.

Not exactly appealing, but Castiel can stomach it.

Shaking thoughts of scent from his mind, he closes Dean's door behind him and begs him for his help in this endeavour.

Again, Dean completely confuses Castiel; he expected a simple yes or no, but instead he blows up, his scent turning sour.

"Are you...Are you fucking kidding me?!" he almost shrieks, his eyes wide with rage.

"Why the fuck would I do that?" he says, glaring at Castiel, and continues, "What, you want to introduce your girl to the Omega whore you got done with before you marry her?"

Castiel is reeling now, utterly out of sorts.

"I..." he gasps, and then all of sudden Dean is standing up, right in his face.

Castiel flinches back, and Dean seems to be about to burst a blood vessel or kill him.

Dean takes a deep breath, then another, and closes his eyes.

Castiel can feel every puff of warm air against his lips.

"The movies. Tonight, at six," he says, frowning slightly at Dean's dark expression.

He considers what Dean said a moment ago. Did Dean consider him as different from anyone else he knew? Did he think of him as something more?

The thought alone makes Castiel's blood sing.

Dean sets his jaw, and nods. "Don’t ever forget I did this for you."

He steps out of Castiel's personal space, and shoves him roughly out of his room, slamming the door behind him, and Castiel can hear him saying something angrily through the wood.

Castiel turns around and Sam is in his face, glaring.

Alpha pheromones roll off of him, betraying his rage, but his face is blank and cold.

"You don’t deserve him," he snaps, and suddenly Castiel feels ill.

What has he done?

Can he turn back from here?

Then Sam shoves him too, towards his room, and Castiel stumbles toward the door, swiftly opening and closing it behind him.

Forlornly, Castiel takes off his rumpled shirt with a deep sigh, and unbuckles his belt.

Dean's marks are still visible on his skin, deep and purple.

He looks at them in the mirror on his chest of drawers, tracing his fingertips down his spine, along the scratches Dean left, the bruises on his ribs from when he had clung too tightly.

Erica...she is beautiful but does not contain the same animal passion that Dean does; the hickeys and bruises she leaves behind are faint and few, as if they are in pencil while Dean has used markers.

With a heavy sigh, Castiel opens his cupboard, and changes for his date.

He has come this far, it makes no sense to stop now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright! Part one of this chapter is up! Look out for part two later today! This chapter is has not been seen by my beta. Any mistakes are my own.


	4. Milk Chocolate part 2/2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter with some hot kissing....u better appreciate it. Love you guys!

Dean is unbelievably angry right now.   
He’s not even sure why he agreed to go with Cas on his stupid fucking proposal/date thing; if it were anyone else he would have flipped them off and slammed the goddamned door in their face, but here he is, getting dressed for something he shouldn’t even be going to.

After he shoved Cas out of his room, he'd heard Sam hiss something at the ex ̶ angel; from the way Castiel’s scent changed, tinged with hurt and confusion, it hadn’t been anything nice.

And really, he shouldn’t care, should be glad that Castiel is hurting the way he made Dean hurt, but the Omega in him howls for him to go to his Alpha, comfort him, and preferably have wild, amazing sex with him, allow Castiel to mate him, give him kids ̶

And Dean is shutting that thought down right now, for several reasons. First of all, Castiel is not his Alpha. Second, Dean is never having kids. Ever. And third, Dean cannot have wild, amazing sex with him because he’s probably having that with some other bitch on a regular basis. 

 

And ouch, that hurts a lot. Dean actually has to sit down a minute, and get some air because that really hurts him.

And then it’s worse, because Dean realizes why this is happening. Why Sam's face got all weird when he said Cas was leaving him. Why he let Cas knot him. Why he hates Erica.

 

Goddamnit, he’s in love with Cas.

 

And after that revelation comes another;  
He can’t let Cas get married.   
He has to do anything he can to stop him.  
~*~  
Castiel is finally fully dressed after an hour of fussing over his outfit; strangely, he doesn’t worry about Erica’s opinion, but Dean's.

He knocks awkwardly on Dean's door and waits for him to come out, somewhat expecting him to yell at him to fuck off, or something the like. But instead, Dean emerges, looking amazing (Castiel needs to stop thinking that) in a flannel shirt, tight jeans and motorcycle boots.

His scent is, as always, tantalizing; but it seems especially pronounced tonight.  
He says nothing to Castiel, just steps past him and heads down the hall, but the darkness is a little less pronounced in his eyes, and his mouth is only partially turned down at the corners.

Castiel feels that odd, bubbly sensation in his stomach again, but only for a minute. The ring in his pocket feels heavy, like it's weighted with lead, or stones.

The drive to the movies is just as painfully awkward and silent as when they were heading to the Bunker, but somehow much worse, because it’s just them.

Dean had refused Sam's offer to join them, and now the only sound in the car is when Castiel quietly tells him directions to the cinema.

Dean's scent is turbulent, confusing. Castiel can’t even begin to sift through the mass of emotion sitting there, so he doesn’t. Just sits back, and waits.

By the time they arrive at the cinema, Erica is already there and waiting.   
She smiles at Castiel, her green eyes wide and sunny. 

"Babe!" she says, flinging her arms around his neck, but her voice sounds grating, too high pitched and chirpy.  
Castiel ignores the irritation her voice causes in his head, and her wrong ̶ scent and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello, beloved," he says, and hugs her back.

Dean's scent palpably sours, and Castiel is fervently glad that Betas cannot smell that well, otherwise Erica would see exactly what Dean thinks of her.   
On the outside, he is polite, shakes her head and smiles charmingly when Castiel introduces them, even cracks a joke to make her laugh, but his scent betrays his true emotions.  
He's not sure why Dean hates Erica so much, but he files it away as something to think about later.  
Right now, he has to focus on what is coming. He strokes his fingers along the weight of the ring in his pocket, but it does nothing to comfort him.

~*~  
Dean notices three things about Erica, right off the bat;

First, she looks exactly like him. It’s kind of unnerving. Her eyes are the same green, her hair the same dirty blonde. Of course, Cas went and picked up the female carbon copy version of Dean. Of course.

Second, she’s really fucking annoying. She clings to Cas like a limpet, and her voice sounds like fucking Wanda from Fairly Odd Fairies or whatever the hell that show was called.

Third, she’s a Beta. This gives Dean a kind of vindictive satisfaction; that means she will most likely be unable to bear Cas's kids, unlike Dean. Ha. One point to Winchester. And she smells gross, like wet dog. Double points.

The movie they’re going to be watching is just as annoying as Erica herself; a shitty romcom that he knows Cas will hate.

They go to stand in line for snacks at the concessions stand first; Dean buys a bar of chocolate and some gum, and Cas gets some popcorn.

Erica has to go use the bathroom, so she tells them to go ahead and that she'll meet them after she gets her food. Dean notices how long the lines are, and smirks. He has an idea in mind.

They sit in the cinema, which is almost empty. They’re all the way in the back, which is great because it means that Erica will take longer to find them. For what Dean is planning... it would not be very great if she saw them. 

When the lights go off, Dean opens the packaging on the chocolate bar with a loud crinkling sound, and breaks one off, holding it out. 

"Want one?" he asks, and Cas jumps, like Dean just stabbed him or something. But he nods, hesitantly and takes the piece of chocolate, leaving his popcorn abandoned on the seat next to them.

Dean breaks off another piece and pops it in his mouth for a while, letting the sweet candy melt. Then he uses his tongue gets it all over his lips, in a thick, just in time to hear Cas make a purely pornographic sound.  
He smirks. "Good, right?"

Cas nods swiftly.  
Dean sits a little closer.

"Don’t you think it’ll taste even better off of me?" he whispers, and the other man's eyes go wide, his scent darkening with lust.

Thankfully, they’re sitting just far enough away from everyone else that no one can smell it.  
"Dean ̶ " Cas chokes out, his breathing picking up, but Dean doesn’t let him continue, just swings himself into Cas's lap easily, just like every time before, and kisses him forcefully, backing him up a little.

At first, Castiel is stiff and fearful, but then he seems to melt and he sticks out his pink tongue, licking up the chocolate on Dean's lips. Dean gasps and feels slick beginning to pour out of him; the sensation is amazing, like rubbing velvet across his mouth. 

In the background, he can hear the characters on the screen saying something obviously meant to be funny, but he doesn’t care.

Then Cas's tongue licks against the seam of his lips, and Dean opens his mouth, gasping into Cas's.   
Their tongues twist and twine for a while, and Dean pulls the other man's bottom lip into his mouth and sucks sharply. He can taste himself, and a hint of the chocolate from earlier.

Cas gasps,and he wants to continue, but then Dean smells burnt paper from across the room and slides back into his seat.

He can feel slick, drying uncomfortably on the backs of his legs. 

"Wha...Dean...what was that?" Cas says roughly, but before Dean can answer, he hears the click of high heels on the floor and Erica is back. She plops herself on Cas's other side, laughably clueless.  
"So, what did I miss?" she chirps, wrapping her arms around Cas, and Dean almost laughs.  
"Nothing much," he whispers at her, and winks at Cas.


	5. The Fallout

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ehuehuehue angst

Castiel is a wreck.

He is sitting in a cinema, between his soon to be fiancé and best friend, one of which had just kissed him.

_A lot_.

A hint: it was not his girlfriend.

Occasionally, he would glance at Dean, trying to get him to somehow explain what had just happened, but he would ignore Castiel and pretend to be focused on the movie. Again, Dean has left him completely in the dark as to his motives.

In fact, confusion would be Castiel’s main emotion, if it wasn’t for the pressing guilt threatening to drive him insane.

He had just rather passionately kissed his ex-lover best friend, while poor, clueless Erica was right outside, and all he can think about is the smooth, soft feeling of those plus lips, the sweet taste of the chocolate, the warm confines of that mouth...

He could argue, of course, that Dean had kissed _him_ , really, but he should have had more restraint.

He should have pushed Dean onto the floor, and told him he wasn’t interested.

But instead, he kissed back, just as much.

And the worst part is, he enjoyed it.

The Omega smells, if possible, even sweeter than before; if it wasn’t for Erica's dampening Beta scent, he would grab Dean by the hand, drag him outside the cinema and...And nothing.

Castiel takes a deep breath in.

He was a soldier, not too long ago, and he knows how to control his base urges

. He is not going to betray Erica any further; he will care for and be kind to her for as long as they are together.

He ignores the little niggling voice in the back of his mind that whispers, _You don’t love her, you don't love her, you love D-_ he cuts the thought off before it can complicate things further.

He has no choice now, he must propose to her, if only to make up for his mistake.

Perhaps in a few years he will bring it up and they will laugh together.

But for now, it would be best to keep her in the dark, to save her feelings, make her happy.

But he will marry her, nonetheless.

So at the end of the movie, he gets on one knee, and pulls out the ring, and she squeals so annoyingly that he wants to put it back in his pocket, walk out and never speak to her again. But he doesn’t, just smiles when she says yes and hugs her. He won’t kiss her, though. Her lips are thin, and he has never kissed them.

But he can do this. And if he can smell the way Dean's scent darkens and twists with hurt, see him make a swift exit from the cinema, he ignores it.

~*~

Dean really needs to stop loving Castiel. Really. He just saw the dude propose to his girlfriend, and all he can feel is bitterness and hurt. He should be happy for him, be clappin' the dude on the back for a job well done, but instead he gets in his car and drives. He doesn’t go to the Bunker; he just drives and drives for hours on end, without pause.

He doesn’t even know where he’s going, but he drives through the night and most of the day.

By the time he gets out, his legs weak and wobbly, he's very, very far from home.

He stumbles into a coffee shop and buys a triple redeye, ignoring the barista's protests against giving him coffee that strong.

Then he goes to the nearest bar, a place called 'Starlight' with the dot above the eye stylized into a little shining star, and sleeps with the first Alpha who hits on him. They go back to his place, since Dean only has the Impala, and fuck.

Dean doesn’t even remember his name, and his dick is uncommonly small for an Alpha and unsatisfying.

He leaves during the night, gets in his car and shivers until dawn. It's nearing on winter now, and it's so cold that Dean thinks he might die.

He stays a week in that little rundown town, far from the Bunker, before he finally gets tired and decides to go back home.

Castiel is there when Dean gets back, but he can smell burnt wood on his skin and brushes past him without a word.

He feels strangely empty and tired, like he’s not a human, but a well made wooden figurine of one, going through the motions of life but not enjoying it.

Sam tries to talk to him, but Dean just ignores him and walks away.

After he eats a cold sandwich, he stumbles into his room and passes out.

He doesn’t come out again for another half a day.

~*~

When Castiel sees Dean again, after the proposal, he looks ill, and tired.

Castiel has been waiting, worried sick, for more than three days for him to come home. Erica let him go back to the Bunker after two days at her place, telling him that he looked like a skeleton, and to go find that friend of his.

She put a lot of emphasis on 'friend', as if she was being sarcastic, but Castiel has no time to worry about that.

He thanks her quickly and puts on clothes to keep out the cold, then makes his way home. He has no car, he left his at the Bunker, but thankfully they aren’t too far from where he needs to be.

He spends days working himself into a frenzy; Sam won’t talk to him, and doesn’t even look at him, and Dean has not been home for almost a week. Castiel is worried he might have been seriously injured, or worse.

He spends most of his days sitting next to the front door, waiting for Dean to come back. He hardly eats, doesn’t sleep, and his legs go numb from remaining seated for so long.

So when Dean comes home, looking pale and awful, Castiel immediately goes to hug him. He looks cold, and Castiel feels so guilty with the scarf Erica knitted him around his neck.

He unties it before he hugs Dean, and is about to hand it to him, when the man steps past him roughly and keeps walking, without even a work.

His scent smells bitter.

He turns to follow Dean, ask him where he was and why, but Sam is standing between them and shakes his head, acknowledging him for the first time in days.

Castiel sits back down, feeling lost.

A few hours later, he creeps down the stairs and presses himself up against Dean's door. He hears a gasp, a sob, a muttered curse.

Castiel steps back as if slapped. Dean is _crying._ And it’s his fault.

He sits down in his own bedroom, staring at his feet, and wishes that he had never met Erica, that he'd never helped her with her groceries.

Because now he knows why Dean was so upset and snappy, why he ignored Castiel for months, why Sam has been so angry.

Dean is in love with him.

And furthermore, Castiel loves him too.

And there’s nothing he can do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, we are getting close to the end. I have a sequel in mind...and some timestamps....hm......we will just have to see.


	6. Author's Note!

Okay, so I know I haven't updated this fic in forever, but I haven't had access to a computer and plus I've been sick. I'm so sorry!! I promise there will be a new chapter by this saturday! Thank you so much for your patience and sorry for the wait!


	7. Star-Crossed Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I KNOW I said Saturday, but I left home at eight am and came back at ten pm, so, you know the deal....

Dean has never felt so frustrated, or angry in his life.

Now that Castiel is engaged to Erica, he _constantly_ smells like the Beta, and the stomach-souring scent of burnt paper hangs around the house, making Dean's mood worse.

Dean figured that it would get easier to be around Cas, with time, but instead it's just more awkward and infuriating every time he and Cas bump into each other.

And the worst part is the little thumping feeling in his stomach that tells him to _kiss_ , and _take_ what's his. His inner Omega is in such a funk that he can hardly get himself out of bed, shove food into his mouth and then crawl back into bed again.

But to Dean's satisfaction, Cas looks little better; his hair is a mess and his eyes weighed down with dark circles.

And Sam, of course, is caught in the middle; too angry at Cas, and too wary of Dean's mood to bother talking to either of them. Instead, he holes himself up in the library, except for when he goes out on cases, alone.

The Bunker has never been so quiet, or so uncomfortable, especially where Dean is, curled up under a stack of blankets in the library, watching Netflix like the sad little lump that he is. This is the only place that doesn't stink of Erica- stupid bitch has probably never stepped foot in a library in her lifetime.

The rest of the place, sadly, hasn't fared that well; the Beta had been in and out of the Bunker almost daily for the past few weeks, insisting that she needs to meet her fiancee's "in-laws". (When she made that joke, Dean had to hold his hands tightly behind his back to keep from slapping the bitch down. _"Fiancee's in-laws?"_ What the fuck?)

At least she never makes comments about how big the place is, or the weapons set up on the walls- Cas has her convinced that Dean inherited it from his father, a rich ex-marine.

What an idiot.

And- speak of the devil, Dean hears the front door being opened, hears Cas's low rumble and Erica's high squeak. They seem to be arguing over something; Cas's scent is oozing discomfort and unhappiness.

Before Dean can sort out exactly what's happening, the library door creaks open and Erica steps in. Her face is set in a frown, and her puny arms are crossed over her chest.

"Hi, Dean, can we talk?"

 

He grinds his teeth.

 

"Yeah, Erica?"

The blankets fall away and he sits up in his chair, turning to face her.

 

He doesn't offer her a seat, but she takes one anyway, plopping her skinny ass down on _his_ nice, fancy library chair, and flipping her hair over her shoulder.

 

"So, Cas told me about you and him. What you guys were doing before he and I dated."

Dean frowns. He doesn't like where the conversation is going at all.

"So? What's done is done."

Not like he has any feelings about Cas anymore. Not at all.

She shakes her head and sighs, aggravating him even further.

 

"Dean, the way you've been acting lately... I don't know."

"Look, I don't know what you're insinuating, but-"

 

Erica interrupts him. "Look, Dean, I know you still like Cas, but you have to understand, _he's_ _moved on._ He loves _me_ now, and he has no feelings toward you other than friendship. Do you understand?"

She has the nerve to smile.

It would be so easy to say yes, to just nod and smile, but Dean feels a rage building up inside him like never before.

"First of all, _do not_ talk about Cas like you own him. I don't care whether he likes you more or whatever, but you need to learn some fuckin' chill! The only person who knows how Cas feels is _Cas_ , and the only one that knows how I feel is me, you fucking bitch! Who the fuck are you to walk into my home, telling me what to do, and expect me to take it? Fuck off!"

By the time he finishes talking, he's practically screaming, and Erica has shrunk down so far in her seat she looks a foot shorter. But then she's getting on her feet and swearing at him in such a high pitched voice that he swears his ears are about to start bleeding.

They're yelling so loud that Cas must have heard him, and so would Sam, except he's out right now.

And he's right on the money- Cas busts in, looking bewildered, just as Erica storms out. He casts Dean a confused look, and Dean just shrugs.

So much for getting to know the in-laws.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is really short, I know, but I HAVE SO MANY PROJECTS TO DO i'M dyING.  
> HELP.


	8. Lovelorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I know I'm an asshole who never updates. I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME.

Castiel should have expected that something like this would happen the moment Erica came in looking thunderously angry, but he was too late to stop the confrontation between her and Dean.

Now, he was watching his soon-to-be-wife stomp her way out of the Bunker, breezing past him completely, her scent even more sour than usual in her rage.

What had happened in the library? Cas turns to Dean expecting an explanation, some kind of _reason,_ but Dean just shrugs and leans up against the door, his face and manner nonchalant. But his scent betrays his real emotion- it's roiling with victory and self-satisfaction, and the faintest notes of anger.

What had Dean even said to Erica? He'd never seen her like that before, so... enraged.

Before he can say anything to Dean, the man is closing the library door once more, blanking Castiel out.

Frustrated, he picks up his jacket and goes outside, looking for Erica.

~*~

It takes Castiel five minutes to find Erica- the girl's legs are short and she couldn't really get that far without extreme effort on her part. He approaches, cautiously, aware of the rage still burning in her scent and her face. She's leaning against the side of her car, her lips pulled tight and her arms crossed.

"Erica?" he asks, reaching for her, but she simply shakes her head and leans away, sending a sharp jab of hurt up his spine. Was _everyone_ he loved going to start ignoring him now? Dean was too busy sulking to speak to him, and Sam had hardly spared more than a glance in his direction in _months_.

He jerked his hand back to his side, and took a step back from Erica.

"What...What did Dean say to you, Erica?" he asked, softly, the words hanging heavy and still in the night air.

She shook her head slightly. "What he said...doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, right, Castiel? Because you love me, right?"

She turned her big, green eyes ( _Just like Dean's,_ his brain belatedly realized) on him, filled with hope, expectation.

Castiel opened his mouth and waited for the words to tumble out. A simple "I love you," or even an "Of course I do," would do the job right.

But instead of words, all that came from his mouth was a cut off grunt.

Erica frowned, her eyes filling with tears. "You love him, too, don't you?" she whispered. "Maybe it would be better if I left."

This time, speech came readily to him, and he gripped her tightly by the arm. "You can't leave. You can't! Think about the engagement, you've already told your family-"  
  


She cut into his urgent words, wrenching her arm out of his reach. "Then you need to choose!" she shouted, tears staining her flushed cheeks. "It's him, or me Castiel!"

Cas sighed, closing his eyes. "I can't just...I can't choose between you and one of my closest..." He stopped. Closest what? The word " _friend_ " didn't exactly apply to Dean and his relationship.

Thankfully, Erica didn't seem to notice his pause. Tears were now freely flowing down her face, smearing her makeup. Her scent had gone totally rotten, like something had died and been rubbed all over her. Revulsion spilled up Castiel's throat, and he swallowed it down, leaning in to hold her tightly.

"Listen, we'll talk about this in the morning, okay?" he whispered in her ear, rubbing small circles into her back. "When emotions aren't running so high, and things are a little calmer."

She nodded, tearfully, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

They slept together that night, in Erica's house, but today Castiel felt no comfort in the softness of her face, the curves of her body. In his mind, her words repeated over and over.

_You need to choose. Me or him. You need to choose. Me or him.  
_

He pressed a pillow into his face, trying to turn his thoughts off, because the answer was blinking a bright, fiery red behind his eyes.

_Dean. Dean. Dean._


	9. Do you guys want an update?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So

So hey everybody. I finally checked back up on this story and wow. It got kinda popular in a scary way. There are so many people who were asking for an update, and now that I temporarily have my life together, do you guys still want it? Don't worry , I'm deleting this chapter soon.

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys think this is any good, I will continue it! This was just a short trial chapter, so depending on how you guys feel about it, i will decide whether i want to finish this or not.  
> ~Jay  
> Also, if you guys have money to spare, please donate to the Leelah Alcorn project! http://www.gofundme.com/theleelahproject


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